Eternal Rest

by Shinobi   May 14, 2008


Left alone in my dark corner, helpless
Counting minutes until the dark being would appear
A knife in one hand, a letter in another
Death passionately whispers in my ear

"No friends to cover your bleeding hand"
Feelings of loss grieved my day
"You are lost, no way to escape"
Death has spoken, now I must pay

The fee is blood, from my deepest veins
Smiling and giggling from afar, my darkest fear
"Cut deep, it's time for your departure"
My life is now over, there's no more left to hear

With a smooth cut blood flowed from my wrist
This is the eternal goodbye, no more pain
Drenched in blood the letter dropped from my hand
A letter which can leave no man sane

"My puny soul shall be left behind
Concealing all the pain I passed through
It shall haunt those who caused this misery
All those sinners I ever knew"

Leaving all my memories behind
Eternal rest is what I truly need
Those beings cause this puny death
After hours, open veins continue to bleed

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Annaam

    Woww... This poem is very well-written... Rather spine chilling, but portrays strong emotions... :)

    5/5 from me!
    Keep It Up! =).

  • 16 years ago

    by she

    A knife in one hand, a letter in another
    Death passionately whispers in my ear
    --creates an image

    Leaving all my memories behind
    Eternal rest is what I truly need
    Those beings cause this puny death
    After hours, open veins continue to bleed
    ---very relatable situation

    great flow
    very sad poem, good write

  • 16 years ago

    by hummingbird

    Your words reflected the soul that has only hope through death, you captured my attention from start to end and that is something hard to do.
    keep writing.....

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    You repeated the word "blood" too many times through the poem which, along with the repetition of the word "puny" disturbed the flow a bit. Also, you should add more punctuation through the whole poem which wold create better rhythm and flow. Other than those critiques, I really liked this poem. It is powerful and haunting, written with an amount of overwhelming emotions which I could really feel while I was reading this. Overall, truly nicely done. Your descriptions are intense and memorable.

  • 16 years ago

    by eehcuhhhz

    I believe this is a story.
    Just wanted to say.
    Lol.

    It's okay.
    I'm not very fond of suicide poems,
    So I can't say this is great.

    It's kind of a bit graphic.
    I don't know if you intended it to be that.

    ahahah.
    Sorry, I guess I'm not the right person to comment on this.

    But still, just to keep your 5.
    I'll give you that.

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