Well no i dont think pain is attention..it is feling...telling every one that we are all still alive and breathing if we can still feel pain. If this all happened to you i am sorry.I know how it feels to have an alcoholic father and my real mother is a druggie and prostitute and well i dont get to see my half sister but at least i have my real sister and my writing...keep your head up and keep telling everyone you are ok and still alive