Why Suicide?

I never thought it would come to this,
body shaking, tightly clenched fists.
staring at the table where the gun is laid,
my forehead sweating, my face tear-stained.
i hate to think what it will do to my friends,
but it's the only way the pain will end.
i will write them a note saying how it'll be better,
cause once i am gone ill be happy forever.
part of me is scared to see what lies beyond,
but i am more terrified, yet to let life go on.
now i have looked at both pros and cons,
but i am still going through it even it is wrong.
i slowly start unclenching my fists,
take a razor slit my wrists.
a bottle of pills to ease the pain,
soon it will be over... no longer insane!
i pick up the gun point at my head,
now i am free... no longer dead!