The real me

I am afraid
deeply afraid
of showing the real me
i am afraid deeply afraid
deeply afraid
of telling my deepest thoughts
i am afraid
deeply afraid
of having a real smile
i am afraid
deeply afraid
of crying and letting someone see my pain

I am tired
exhausted
from putting on an act
i am tired
exhausted
from keeping my thoughts to myself
i am tired
exhausted
from smiling that fake smile
i am tired
exhausted
from wiping my tears and holding in my pain

my smile seems to fade everyday
my laughter seems to fade every minute
my tears seem to drown me every time they fall
my life continues to waste as i hold it all in
my heart is full of pain and sorrow

I wish that God would send me an angel and make everything better than it is
I wish that my pain will go away
I wish everything was the same