Metaphorical Sun (Lento)

by Rachel RTVW   May 16, 2008


Grace us with your charm
Place us in your keep
Space is vast and endless
Face your slumber deep

A star won't last forever
Pray and wish you might
Day will come once again
May he be chased by night

The Lento is a short form that isn't as easy as it looks. A Lento consists of two quatrains with a fixed rhyme scheme of abcb, defe. The second
and fourth lines of each stanza must rhyme.
To take it a step further, try
rhyming the first and third lines as well as the second and fourth lines of each stanza in this
rhyming pattern: abab, cdcd.
The FIRST words of each verse should rhyme....this is the hard part! There is no fixed syllable structure to the Lento, but
keeping a good, flowing rhythm is recommended.

You may add onto the Lento writing a four-verse Lento and call it a Double Lento, or a
six-verse Lento calling it a Triple Lento.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Great job on the Lento form! Nice imagery and rhyming. I've read this several times and can take it several ways...guess that's why it's a metaphor! lol....Nicely done!

  • 16 years ago

    by Lu

    Rachel with such few words your penned has whispered many words.

    A star won't last forever
    Pray and wish you might
    Day will co ryhmme once again
    May he be chased by night
    ^^^
    You create such amazing imagery with this second part ... for some strange reason a nursery rhyme came to mind while reading this part ... (and the cow jumped over the moon) ... yes strange I know but it sparked that inside my mind for some unknown reason.... lol

    You have done an excellent job with this form and it was indeed a pleasure to read.

    Luanne

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Day will come once again
    May he be chased by night....

    A very hopeful message within your words, dear Rachel:)
    You did great on this challenge, it was a joy to read your poem.

    Hugs,

    Ingrid

  • 16 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    Rachel,
    You never fail when writing your poetry. It always tend to touch the soul of the reader. You have done an excellent job with this form and I envy your ability.

    A star won't last forever
    Pray and wish you might
    Day will come once again
    May he be chased by night

    ^ I can't recall how many times I have wished upon a star for something. Thank God that he knows what I need and that I didn't always get the wishes prayed for.

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    Rachel
    Great job on this form. Awesome imagery and word choices :)

    Grace us with your charm
    Place us in your keep
    Space is vast and endless
    Face your slumber deep

    I love the feelings reading this stanza left me with. Peaceful and warm :)

    A star won't last forever
    Pray and wish you might
    Day will come once again
    May he be chased by night

    Loved your ending I picture the moon chasing the sun :)
    Excellent!
    Love
    Cindy

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