Don't Hate me in the end ((confession..I'm sorry))

I don't want to be this car wreck mess
don't want to drag you down with me,
here's my tired confession,
dear, be my life vest in this sea?

Crimson is a pretty color
no poetic metaphor there
think hard now, dear reader,
just don't stop and stare

Read another poem,
it's written ever clear,
this tiny pain unto myself,
when i was drowning in my fear

I'm sorry if i hurt you,
when i did this to myself,
anger, guilt, fear, and pain,
i tried to shove them on the shelf

Dearest, did you read these words?
did tears spring to your beautiful eyes?
i mean it, friend, not right now,
now isn't the time to cry

All I've ever needed,
yesterday, tomorrow, now,
is just a simple hug, "i love you"
you tell me i'm amazing, i need to know how

I'm sorry, friend, i couldn't say,
say the things I've done,
but crimson is a shameful thing,
and i know i hurt you when i run

**there it is Shalivia.....**