Very well put together and very strongly ended, well done for this xx

I think it si a good tyouching story , i am aorry i could not find anything to say ti si a poem , not good structrue in term pf paragraph and no rhyming , and disturbed time difrence nto smooth transition

mmm
hope you fix it !!

I really like this
I don;t know why its only got 3/5, i really get what ur trying to say-
very clever expression!!!
will be reading more of your stuff
Aish

Forget what Moucha said,it is a FREE VERSE!!! meanin u dnt need rhyme.its a beautifl poem,not perfect,but beautifl still.wot u myt nid chckn on is th use of more stylistic devices such as symbolism,imagery and metaphors.good poem dear,keep writin 4rm ur soul