The Apocalypse

by eehcuhhhz   May 16, 2008


**These are interpretations of the poem "Loveless"**

The citizens conceal themselves,
Some hidden deep within the ground.
Together they keep their ear's covered,
Afraid they will hear death's sound.

The soldiers in combat are out in the open,
Praying upon their Gods for the war's end.
For although the soldiers might not live,
They pray their loved ones they'll defend.

As the thunder roars within the air,
A creature descends from up above.
With feathers as white as snow,
It's tone of sound filled with love.

All stares upon the creature cross-eyed,
Without noticing that people have changed.
Friend or foe, evil colors they turn
The dark monsters have gone deranged.

As the creature descends from the skies,
Its bewitching voice fills in the air.
The creature guides them to bliss,
Their souls taken without despair.

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Loveless [Prologue]

When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by AlaSkA

    I think the prologue was the best part. personally.
    i also think that you have good talent but dont use your vocabulary to the fullest you could have in this write. i dont know if you wanted to stay simple during some parts or to better come across with your meanings, but you could have used some better words at some parts. hope that helps, and in no way am i putting down the work here, i liked it.

    Tom

  • 16 years ago

    by ECILA ice

    I don't know where do you get those ideas and imagination but you really have the talent a poet must have..you created a gloomy aura plus good vocabulary.. your flow is flawless. keep it up!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Kelsey

    Simply beautiful

  • 16 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    Fisrt of all I really like the way you used an interpretation for a poem. Smart move. Second I enjoyed reading fresh work. I really liked how were pretty literal with this poem and said what you meant in an articlate way.

    A line I fix that could be ammended is

    'They pray their loved ones they'll defend', here I feel you have used the third person pronouns 'they' and 'their' a little to close together giving the line a bit of difficult in reading.

    Other than that I see no flaws the flow was pretty good and the words you chose worked nice with the poem, exellent write

    Alex xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    This is a good write, I have rather a migraine so I couldn't really enjoy it as well as I'd like to, but deep down it touches, which is the main thing at times: to understand, I suppose.
    It's all very well, you know; however, I had a slight tendency to look past your words into another... world, one such filled with wonder and amazement that no eye can merely see.

    5/5