Tears

Good night...and good bye..today is the day...where i realize that once again i am alone even though i am surrounded by people....I'm in a wide open space as you hold me in your arms.....the feelings you showed toward me were fake and it hurts....my heart...deeply....now that i feel too....i haven't quite got the whole concept of thoughts feelings and emotions....but i know this cant be good......my mom...is re-stripping me of the childhood i was trying to gain back....however...i can never get it.... and i never got what it felt like to have the innocence of childhood memories....nor will i know what it means to be free or have fun....i have a new form of shackles....those that constrict me in a new way....one where i can never break through......and i sit here and cry on my keyboard wondering why does it happen to me....its not fair...i thought i was a good person....but i guess i was wrong...I'm just an evil boy....well as i get dragged deeper into darkness.....my thoughts become blunt and my very view of life gets warped into a whole new figure, one i don't even recognize and it attacks me....it takes the form of love friendship and kindness...and it takes all that and reflects it back at me in the opposite way and the hurt and chaos inside my heart expand....and my shadow heart is born......and i die on the inside....cause thats how its destined to be anyway....