It's only your love

Traced one side round then straight,
In the middle lay it broken - it's too late.
`Lay it broken ... it sounds funky, but it's grammatically correct -- I keep thinking it's supposed to be "it lays broken" or "it lies broken," but I take it these words are meant to bring the image of laying down something that's shattered? No? -shrugs. Just a little confusion.

Held on with dear life,
Deception forced one to the knife.
`D: The line makes it too short for the stanza -- be careful of syllabication -- and it broke the flow. The rhyme is also cliche and it soudns forced -- that last line was like, you tried to rearrange the words just so that the rhyme would fit.

Muster the courage to say what I feel?
Or let dreams be and accept what's real?
Curse this silence that distances our souls,
Cannot even part with a heart full of holes.
`I love this stanza -- absolutely adore it. The first two lines ... they're words that my best friend and I have been asking ourselves for months now. Speak what we wish to say and risk it all? Or just accept that our reality is set in stone and that's it? Beautifully put, m'dear. And then the second half of that stanza-- I would change "Cannot" to something else. It just sounds out of place to me, but it's just a suggestion. Maybe break it up to "I can't" or something of that sort? *shrugs. Buuut, to the meaning .. It's absolutely darling. It relates to my situation ... the silence -- keeping us apart and yet no matter how many new wounds my heart bleeds from, I just won't let go.

Through dew drops so sweet,
Surrounded with roses upon my feet.
`Brings a pretty image to my mind -- The dew drops make me think tears -- sweet tears; ironic. And though it may not be what you actually meant, I translate the roses being upon the feet to be ... beauty that now lies at the ground forlorn with loss.

A tragic end to what began,
As the dreams of life withered below sand.
Simple moments that I miss,
It's only your love for which I thirst.
`First rhyme made me go, Eh. It wasn't bad but it still sounds a little flimsy. But not bad -- it's interesting. And oh, what a way to end. It's a cliche concept -- to be thirsty for one's love, but for me, that ending was unexpected, and just great. You strayed away from your rhyming, and it worked.

The only critiques were some awkward rhymes, a flow crack once or twice -- but work with syllabication will fix that real easy. Other than that, nicely done.

..__MiNDYY

This poem is so good. I love it. The flow is great and i loved that this one had stanzas. The wording was a little off but I caught on.

OMG! I loved this poem so much. Deff one of your best poems I've read. It held so much emotion and finess. Wonderful. Simply wonderful.

Muster the courage to say what I feel?
Or let dreams be and accept what's real?
Curse this silence that distances our souls,
Cannot even part with a heart full of holes.

^^^This was my overall favorite stanza. I'm nominating this poem to the weekly contest. Good Luck and keep writing! 10/5
your friend,
~Forever Broken~

Absolutely one of your best writes.. I loved it! keep up the great work! 10/5 :P

Love Arun.

Itz only ur love 4 which I thirst...

Excellent poem...

keep it up...
Best wishz....