Comments : In a cold world

  • 16 years ago

    by she

    Outstanding poem!
    youre words are so strong
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    You took a lot of everything and put it into one poem. I liked how you use the dialogue and it was basically your voice. I love all the emotions in this. You put together a great poem here. Enjoyed it a lot myself. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Very well written... your take on the subject is great...
    "'Join me with the darkened world,
    Where your made up perfection is cruel,
    Lighten the shadows in my eyes
    Take all reason from my mind.'"

    ^^"Where your made up perfection is cruel, "... loved this line... its so very true...

    "'Hide from me the realism,
    Take from me the norm,
    Show me only perfection,
    Make my whole body reborn.'"

    ^^the ending is wonderful...its very well described... how one cant see the reality... the obsession to have a perfect body...

    very well done..

  • 16 years ago

    by TragicRomance

    I like the way you get such a strong message out with so little words

    Join me with the darkened world,
    Where your made up perfection is cruel, *****MY FAVORITE LINE*****
    Lighten the shadows in my eyes
    Take all reason from my mind.'"

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Beautiful words you write here
    every line have its story
    but i see that it ranged 3 line and 4 line in each stanze it would be better to have the same lines,but its great jop and 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by andhereIstand

    I l;ove this- the emotions are so real and true- soemthing many teeneage girls face, but still try to hide from all the same. I hope this is just that, a stage, and I hope you are feeling better soon about yourself.
    I lvoe the way you write- the quotations are great- my favorite lines:
    "'Join me with the darkened world,
    Where your made up perfection is cruel,
    Lighten the shadows in my eyes
    Take all reason from my mind.'
    ...it seems everyone likes these- keep it up!