The Bow [a poem for myself]

-Yes I know its long but as the title states its more so here for me then anyone else. If you can relate...I'm deeply saddened. Enjoy.

Your scent is intoxicating, intimidating at best
Sends a yearning so hard to hide, harder then the rest
I smile, wave, walk away, my eyes glued to the floor
Afraid of repeating those nights I've cried, calling out for something more

Walking home I walked alone, just another day
Craved for arms that held mine close, didn't push away
Watching angels seasonally fly through space and time apart
So close they are but too far to throw me back my heart

Sometimes I talk to my angels, but they know this game
Away from all that's human they won't give it back the same
They said one needs to earn the things they threw away
And all I know is how to turn I cannot run they say

I sang to my angels, but they just swayed too and fro
Again so out of reach yet still they will not go
Played, and cried, and pleaded did I, "oh, please just a little piece?"
"What point is there in living with pain that's refuses to cease?"

My angles they'd caress me, in nights when I yearned for love
But every time I found hope in them they simply floated above
And as I walked the hollow road, so peaceful yet so sad
I found a tinted little bow, so unlike any I've ever had

I looked up but they quietly avoided my gaze
And here I knew was the simple secret to changing all my ways
Greedily I held it as if it might just disappear
I did not walk but run, far, far from my fears

Did not stop to breathe nor notice the feel of falling rain
All the pieces of my heart cutting through the chain
Too long I've walked without looking back hoping just to see
Someone who would find it in them to simply walk after me

I ran and ran, my tired legs flying, I never wanted it to cease
I ran past my frightened angels, over each little piece
This time I ignored the cries and let it fall apart
There is no point in living if you're looking for a heart