Push You Away

I pushed you away until I could not anymore
I let you get close enough
Until I got too scared
You were always there pushing back
Then you let me fall when you pushed no more
I wish you were still here
You can keep me safe
Never let anything or one hurt me
I thought I would be okay if you left but sadly
I was wrong tears fell and still fall today
I pushed you away until I could not anymore
Wishing I could leave now that you are gone
But I know wishing would get me far
Why do I do it
Why did I get so scared you were there
You said you would never leave
That you would always stay
Why did you let you just slip away
Why did I have to push you away