- I ran my fingers through his hair one last time and kissed his shoulder gently - again, secretly hoping he'd feel it.-
i found that part soo cute, simple, but love the end of the sentence where you read her thoughts.

-trying my best not to swear. Nothing is worse than an unnecessary potty mouth.-
nice vocab n_n *potty mouth* i haven't heard that in a long long long time. kind of funny actually

-Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot." I whispered to myself, pretending it would help, but knowing that it would never be enough to stop me from falling.-
i agree that part was just great. i guess we DO all do that.

n_n

This is as good or even better than anything i have read in a novel It makes me proud to be in the same club as you. Thanks for the long comment on my work I read every word

Ok im not going to go into some long winded comment! but i just want to say i loved reading this...its just so cleverly written...i especially like the way you didn't overdo it like as someone wrote above with the whole i love you drama. in that way it kinda reminded me of sonnet 130 by William Shakespeare lol just slightly

5/5 tc chek out some ma poems xx