Comments : Starless Night

  • 16 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    This piece of poetry has such strong meaning to me and that is probably one of the reasons i chose it as the winning poem for my contest.
    Another reason would have been because of the brilliant use of descriptive wording and the imagery that showed up so clear and vivid in my mind.

    "These Cold Nights
    Are Eating Me Alive,
    Wont You Stay
    To Keep Me Warm
    Tonight."
    ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
    This stanza just sets up the whole poem. It practically stood up and shouted out "This is a sad love poem, you're going to love me."

    "While I Stare;
    The Sky Falls Around Me,
    But You Still,
    Are Not There.
    And While I Waltz
    Through The Ballroom
    Full Of Twinkling Wonders,
    My Mind Returns To You.
    Gently And Slowly,
    One By One They,
    Began To Blink Out."
    ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
    i absolutely loved the idea of the waltzing through a ballroom. And then as your mind returned to this other person, twinkling wonders began to blink out. i loved that bit. it just set up the whole idea of a starless night.

    "Frozen I Stood,
    On The Marble Floor."
    ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
    it made me actually see an ice statue when i read this bit. i don't know. i have a strange mind.

    "I Awoke.
    Seeing The Last
    Of Them Blink
    and Fade Away,
    Like The Insistent Noise
    Of The Monitor
    Next To Me.
    Everything Left Me.
    And Again I Found Myself
    In That Wonderous Hall
    Of The Starless Night.
    All The Time Looking,
    For A Mere Glimpse
    Of Your Face.
    ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
    In this bit, where you said the insistent noise of the monitor, it made me think of a hospital and you had no family or friends there and it was like they had all left you and then you were in the ballroom again and you were searching for.. the one you love, maybe?

    There was a very powerful stpry behind this
    And it was an enjoyable read. Very well written with amazing description.

    5/5

    Keep Writing, hun
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 16 years ago

    by Yeka

    Dude love your poem to emo and yet sad feel your pain 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by NoUr

    Cute poem..i felt it was like a story..beginning..something happened..the end..liked the events..keep writing

  • 16 years ago

    by Lesslovedthanloathed

    Lovely poem. Quite enjoyable. ;)
    I think I'll go read some of you other ones O:

  • 16 years ago

    by Skyfire

    "And Again I Found Myself
    In That Wonderous Hall
    Of The Starless Night.
    All The Time Looking,
    For A Mere Glimpse
    Of Your Face. "

    These were some amazing lines.