Holding Back

I'm trying so hard
Not to show you how I feel
Because if you only knew the truth
You wouldn't know how to deal

With the many truths behind the lies
That I keep behind closed doors
And like I've told myself through time
I don't think I can do this anymore

I can no longer cope
With the pain I feel inside
And the hurtful lies I tell you
Every day of my life

I'm just like a cliffhanger
I keep stringing you along
And you keep on hanging
As if there's something good in the long-run

But this isn't a fairytale
Or a bedtime story that (always) ends good
This is more like nonfiction
Or a tragic story in the news

I'm tired of playing this game
And sick of re-living my pasts
But nothing will ever change
Because I can't stop holding back.