to not talk to me and yet know i crying all the time over you.
dont you feel special,
that i am miserable without you.
what about the fact that i think i know what love is when i never believed in it in the first place.
and that i have to hide my depressed heart at school.
that all i want to do is just lay in your arms a last time.
your the reason its hard for me to flirt with other guys or even start dating again.
its crazy i thought i hate you but i atleast think about you 5 times a day.
i just lay in my room and wait for you to call even though i know you won't.
in the morning when i look absolutly perfect i start listening to music videos and they all remind me of you so i mess up my makeup when i start to cry.
what about no matter how many times i wash my stupid jacket i cant seem to get the smell of you out of it.
and everytime i open my closet your scent fills it cause that thing you gave me.
i feel like a sinner and that i am unworthy of god because of what took place at church.
whenever i went church before i felt free but when i pass that corner i feel entangled in hurt, pain, and tears.
i dont if i ever have a chance to have you back but i think if i had you again people would hate me.
then again i really don't care what people think.
why cant i move on like all the other times?
you know i can handle pain but not having you is killing me.
