Faces

Walking through the darkness
of what i thought i used to know
washing away the footsteps
pull the trigger nice and slow
trying hard to reach out
but the hand is never there
who am i kidding?
who were you to ever care?
i thought i knew you well enough
to know you wouldn't leave
but then i saw the face inside
and the lies i so believed
sitting in this room alone
playing russian roulette
god help me, im not sure what im doing
all i want to do is forget
the memories keep pulling
on in this wound inside my chest
scribbling out my broken smile
and denying all the rest
so fake were the faces of my family
and fake were the faces of my friends
where am i to run to now?
i cant keep playing pretend
i wont be swallowed whole and then
be spit out to live or die
but maybe if my heart stops beating
i wont have to live this lie