Comments : It's Just A Contribution

  • 16 years ago

    by Mimi

    I love the first line in the last stanza. the message and writing is great. i dont think this piece is universal b/c everyone interprets different weather in their own way but i do like the poem.

    ~*~please comment/vote on my poems~*~

  • 16 years ago

    by Lima Pappa

    I love your poems

  • 16 years ago

    by BurriedFaceDown

    Life is like the seasons
    Events take time in thoughts
    So cherish everyday
    And moments people have brought
    ^^^
    The rythme of this stanza was kind of off. But other than that it was fine. It made sense and fits with the rest of the poem.

    Fall brings in the breezes
    And ruffles in the leaves
    A color change in the city
    Is what you will receive
    ^^^
    The rhymes in this stanza we kind of weird but, they do sorta of rhyme if that is what you were goin for.

    Fall brings education
    To kids of our nation
    Learning for the future
    In 9 months duration
    ^^^
    I liked the flow of this stanza a lot. It has a unique quist to it.

    Snowy days bring huge coats
    To help the cold roll off
    Wind chill doesn't play games
    When it comes to heavy coughs
    ^^^
    The rhyme in this stanza is one that i am familar to, 2&4. But it was really good. When you read this stanza it was strange but i kept reading it then it started to make sense.

    Snowy days bring snowmen
    As winter starts to arrive
    When cold brings the deadly
    Humans struggle to survive
    ^^^
    I really like this stanza. You talk about winter coming but it can bring death.

    Rainy days bring sad times
    Times you wish to neglect
    I don't wish to recall
    All I wish is to forget
    ^^^
    when you get to this stanza the flow of the poem starts for fill out and it looks like you got your rhythme started.
    the stanza is very meaningful to me since it has been raining where i live, so sad times to come to mind. So this stanza is great.

    Rainy days bring flashbacks
    And sometimes very sad songs
    Of times you thought were over
    And times you thought were gone
    ^^^
    Again this reminds me of right now in my life.

    Sunny days bring joy to all
    And nice weather is good to have
    Short skirts and pool parties
    It all kinda follows a path
    ^^^
    This stanza was a bit of a different turn in the poem. It was strange but also a great thing to do. (if that makes sense)

    Sunny days bring smiles
    To people of all lands
    It's okay to be happy
    So get out and take a stand
    ^^^^
    In this stanza you direct it to all people by saying...To people of all lands....which is really cool

    Life only takes seconds to steal
    So hold on with a tight grip
    So think before you say or do
    I just hope others take my tip
    ^^^
    This stanza was really different from the others since you weren't talking about weather.
    But it is a good way to end the poem.
    Throughout your whole poem I can sense that people who read it will in some way relate it to their own life, their own experiances. And that is pretty amazing.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    This poem has a very good rhyming flow it was enjoyable to follow. All of your stanzas are well written and i found your style intresting =]
    Great job on this 1 ^^

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Nice work, you described the seasons .. winter, summer, spring, and fall, very well.. i must add. you could tell easily which season you were mentioning. great work 5/5..

  • 16 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    This piece of poetry is simply and utterly amazing. every single word brought a vivid picture to mind. It had great imagery, and amazing wording.
    Brilliantly penned with a fantastic rhyme and it flowed wonderfully together.

    "Life is like the seasons
    Events take time in thoughts
    So cherish everyday
    And moments people have brought"

    ^^ ^^ ^^ - A very true stanza. Life is like the seasons, it comes and it goes

    "Rainy days bring sad times
    Times you wish to neglect
    I don't wish to recall
    All I wish is to forget"

    ^^ ^^ ^^ - Yes, sad times everyone wishes to forget, because people regret things that happen

    "Sunny days bring joy to all
    And nice weather is good to have
    Short skirts and pool parties
    It all kinda follows a path"

    ^^ ^^ ^^ - I think the rhyme in this was a bit... well, "have" and "path" don't really rhyme, so it sounded a bit strange

    Every stanza was very well writen, a thoughtfully penned piece.
    An enjoyable read which I have added to my favourite poems, which I'm sure you enjoyed writing as much as I enjoyed reading.

    5/5

    Keep Writing, hun
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~