Flight From Death

All the time I've known happiness,
It's been overshadowed by hate,
From all the stored up anger of abuse,
It's like I'm locked in a crate.

I hear you yell and try to hit me,
But I tell myself, "It's just the drugs,"
I try to save myself from you,
My breaking heart just pulls and tugs.

I feel the hurt push me to the edge,
It feels like I can't take much more,
So I claim it's insanity,
I wish I were naive like before.

My life, to me, is completely worthless,
So can I just loose it?
I want to never feel pain again,
So I die doing what seems fit.

I fill the bath tub with hot water,
The steam making it hard to see,
But I manage to deal with it,
I'm over with being me.

I step into the molten liquid,
My white flesh turns bright red,
My body takes the heat in fast,
Against the wall is where I rest my head.

I sink in slowly, taking my last breath,
My last chance of life,
I suddenly become weak,
My world fading from strife.

All around I fade to nothing,
Darkness coats out the pain,
Then I thought I saw an angel,
Then I felt the cold rain.

I looked and saw people weeping,
They were all wearing black,
This is my funeral,
But now I want to go back.

I looked around some more,
Strong and stable, my love was crying,
I wanted to cry, too, at my selfishness,
I knew then that we were all dying.

I felt something touch me,
Heard a scream and shut my eyes,
Now I wasn't alone,
The unknown, though, is what I despise.

Then I reopen my eyes,
To see my lover taking the blame,
I gently took his hands in mine,
I looked at him with all the shame.

He returned my gaze with disbelief,
His hazel eyes filled with tears,
"I thought you were dead,"
"You just give in to your fears."

We embraced each other, like never before,
He didn't want to loose me,
I think I was still in a dream,
All in all, it made me see.

I admit I was lucky,
But now I shouldn't be here,
I wanted to die to run from pain,
When he was the antidote by his care.

Then you bust in with dilated eyes,
And start to scream,
But he kept his arm around me,
Protecting me like a knight in a dream.

He yelled back at you,
You began to retreat,
I felt my strength return,
And saw you crumble to defeat.

I was winning,
With my lover by my side,
My lover, my hero, my savior,
The one who saved me from inside.

Soon we were together,
Running away from you,
We were free; I was free,
And never again will you make me blue.