You Are (Response to "I am")

by H E Losey   May 26, 2008


Response to "I am" by Blank (5/26/08)

You are Sol, begetting day from night
The rainbow's spectrum in you I see
You are the joyous hymns in my head
If only you could hear me

You are that love scene we both saw
So sensual I left halfway through
You are the treasure I dream about
A rapture for which I've longed

You are the Angel atop my tree
So different, so sweet, so divine
You are the strings in my heart's music
So soulful and important

You are the gold in my heart's closet
Hidden, so I alone may see it
Beside you I go unnoticed
My pride swells at that

You are my Pacifica, calm and serene
Though wonders abound in your depths
Are you surprised at what I see?

You are a snow flake from the sky
None among the others the same
You emblazon my day

Your leaving makes it worse
You cast me to the ground
Will I see you ever again?

Read Blank's "I am" first as I wrote this as a reply.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Until Again

    A very good response to I AM. Great way to show different observations of the same situations. M/F perceptions.

  • 16 years ago

    by Anthony Duvalle

    I really liked this. And in response to another poem makes it even better because it gives you something to compare it to. I loved the words you used like emblazon, very effective.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    I know sol means sun, but does it need to be capitalized? I don't know when to capitalize it.
    Same for pacifica which I'm assuming translates into the ocean or something along those lines.

    rainbows spectrum
    It is the rainbow's spectrum requiring an apostrophe for ownership.

    Other than that it's a great poem. I adore the metaphors you used in this. As always a five out of five.

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert Anthony

    Nice job, i loved it...6/5

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    Awe. a very nice write. you expressed the emotions in this piece very nicely. the flow was nice and the vocab was perfect. a very enjoyable read, especially the ending. :] 5/5.

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