The faceless many

by Finalgravedigger   May 26, 2008


The faceless many

Shes wrapped in the arms of immoral society
taking her will is their first priority
molestation touches and corrupts her priceless pure soul
as the faceless many stand ready to invade and control.

Another victim falls to the army of drones
a soulless being without a home
so they march simultaneously on the same void-less road
each stuck in their endless hopeless rows.

Beauty and ugliness are all the same
in their shared vision everything is plain
a simple outline of life is their only embrace
falling short of meaning is their only place.

Strings upon strings are tied amongst them all
each a puppet master constricted by their own knots
tripping over one another like dominoes they fall,
its sad because its their own self written plot.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Annaam

    Wow... Great write.....!! :)

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Shellaine shelli

    Well that really wasn't unexpected that you have another amazing and powerful poem among your list of many!! well done and keep up the good work :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Vera

    I think it describes the reallity we r living in perfectly.
    I really love it!

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    Capitalize your title ! Rawr !

    Shes wrapped in the arms of immoral society
    taking her will is their first priority
    `Oh . My . GOSH . I love love love love love your opening lines! Gorgeous! I can't even begin to explain how those words are so freaking true and so freaking well worded. Wow.

    molestation touches and corrupts her priceless pure soul
    as the faceless many stand ready to invade and control.
    `Watch your syllabication again! Because considering this is just the second half of that stanza, it was a huge transition between shorter soudning lines to a looooong one. It breaks the flow instantly, but I do enjoy these lines too.

    Another victim falls to the army of drones
    a soulless being without a home
    `Ooh, use of "drones" is absolutely brilliant, and extremely effective.

    so they march simultaneously on the same void-less road
    each stuck in their endless hopeless rows.
    `I think you should reword that first line and change it up -- it's dull compared to the rest of the piece, and too long.

    Beauty and ugliness are all the same
    in their shared vision everything is plain
    a simple outline of life is their only embrace
    falling short of meaning is their only place.
    `The first "their" I didn't quite fancy, and then you use it two more times after that -- but it doesn't quite stick out. I think the second rhyme kind of broke the piece a little, but I still liked this stanza and the message it portrayed.

    tripping over one another like dominoes[,] they fall,

    I love the last stanza -- just not the last line in the stanza. "plot" ... It's a nice word choice, but it feels kind of weird ... like you were forced to use that word just to rhyme.

    I like this piece a lot, though. It has so many lines that I absolutely adore -- and I think you did a good job. Just some tweaks and again, it'll be amazing ;)
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 16 years ago

    by Dustin Walters

    Kudos. it was good.

    a few things could be tweaked but its a definate 4/5. :) could read/comment one of mine?

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