Smiles will dawn

Okay, I feel like basically everything you said was only said because it would rhyme. It was uncomfortable for me to read, because it just didn't sound right. My suggestion is to try writing free verse so you don't have to worry about the rhyming and can concentrate on being creative and saying exactly what you want to say.

-----> You try to hide the scars
You try to forget
`` This is such an over used line. I'm not totally against poems with cutting in them, but they have to be unique. They have to hold my attention, and move me. Try similes, metaphors, anything that will make your poem original.

-----> The love from your friends
The love from your family
Should be enough to help you
Through the hard times
`` I love the idea of this stanza, because it's so sweet that you're trying to help that person out, but again I've heard it all before. I don't really feel any emotion in this either.. It just seems like words..

I hope I've helped you out in some way, and I'm sorry if I was too harsh. ><

Keep writing!
Cayce

Thats really good!