It's at the Tip of my Tongue

by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden   May 26, 2008


And oh, it's at the tip of my tongue,
but I just can't seem to say the words to you.
We're just a couple of teens: young love.
You're the secret part of me I never knew.

And I, I took a look at the sun,
and remembered the days we spent together.
Couldn't help to think of all the fun
we have even during "horrible" weather.

You are my dandelion clock
and my unwrapped Hershey's Kiss.
Like the birds in a perfect flock,
you're everything I miss.

The gift wrap in the fire place
and the fireflies at night.
I am comforted by your face.
Kiss me now and hold me tight.

And oh, it's at the tip of my tongue,
but I just can't seem to say the words to you.
We're just a couple of teens: young love.
You're the secret part of me I never knew.

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  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "And oh, it's at the tip of my tongue,
    but I just can't seem to say the words to you."
    -Ohhh, Jen. This is exactly how I'm feeling right now also! I want to tell him those words, but they just won't come out. :] I already can tell.. I can relate XD

    "Couldn't help to think of all the fun
    we have even during "horrible" weather."
    -Okay. I came over something minor here. "Couldn't help [but?] to think of all the fun ..."
    The but really isn't needed, but to me.. it sounded better. You choose what fits best. :]

    "You are my dandelion clock
    and my unwrapped Hershey's Kiss.
    Like the birds in a perfect flock,
    you're everything I miss."
    -This is cute! Haha. I love how you worded this. It's great. :]

    Overall, I love how you repeated your first stanza as your last. :] Wow. I really enjoyed this poem.. I felt as though I could relate to this one! 5/5

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