Don't wake me

by 2weak2smile   May 27, 2008


It's a miracle I wake up each day,
For in my bed awake i lay,
And not to wake I pray and pray.

Someday, my wish will be true,
I will wake, and the sky is blue,
I'll know then my prayer has come through.

Or the day my wish is sent to me,
I'll awake, and only fire I'll see,
I don't mind, dead is how i wish to be.

Tonight I lay down to slumber,
Fingers crossed, eyes closed tight,
Is it up tonight? My final number.

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  • 16 years ago

    by ForbiddenSnowflake

    -It's a miracle I wake up each day,
    For in my bed awake i lay,
    And not to wake I pray and pray.-

    I like the way you have rhymed the last word of each line. I makes it stronger somehow when you get to "I pray and pray"

    -Someday, my wish will be true,
    I will wake, and the sky is blue,
    I'll know then my prayer has come through.-

    Again using all of the last words to rhyme makes this poem flow nice quick and powerful. I like the use that if the sky is blue your pray has come true as opposed to the blackness of your life at the moment. (Well thats how i see it anyway, dont know if its right)

    -Or the day my wish is sent to me,
    I'll awake, and only fire I'll see,
    I don't mind, dead is how i wish to be.-

    -Tonight I lay down to slumber,
    Fingers crossed, eyes closed tight,
    Is it up tonight? My final number. -

    These two last stanzas really change the poem. When I first started to read it I thought you were hoping for everything to be "better" but its kinda of a twist in these verses to see that death was really what you wanted. Maybe your sick of hoping and praying so death might see like an easy option.

    These are just the things that ran through my head when i read the poem. Nice Job!