Crying in solitude

by Lonely Rider   May 27, 2008


Crying in solitude (Monchielle)

Crying in solitude
Dying helpless timber
Glinting blades, iron teeth
Devoured green covers
Barren land - sandy sheet

Crying in solitude
Homeless feathery lives
Angry gunshots follow
Tired wings finds no lair
Uncertain tomorrow

Crying in solitude
Bleeding victimized calf
Atlatl aim another food
Diminishing species
Screams snatched motherhood

Crying in solitude
Crushed delicate blossoms
Concrete monsters strangle
Anguished mother nature
Fading every angle.

**The Monchielle is a poem that consists of four five-line stanzas where the FIRST LINE repeats in
each verse. Each line within the stazas consist of SIX syllables, and lines three and five rhyme.
The rhyme pattern is Abcdc Aefgf Ahiji Aklml.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Wow a very different piece here. I loved it and how the first lined repeated throughout. Great way to create emphasis. I loved the softness of your words and how constant the flow was. This was a wonderful piece dear. Very well done. Nik

  • 16 years ago

    by Keith

    This is a great poem, with great structure, you didnt need to explain it though, the brilliance of it was visible in the flow. thnks for commentin me btw :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Good word choice and imagery in this piece. My only suggestion is :

    ^Homeless feathery lifes^ should be lives instead of lifes.

    You did a great job sticking to the syllable count and following the rulesof the form. Well done!!

  • 16 years ago

    by pookiengurgi

    Beatifully written

  • 16 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    An excellent piece of poetry! it flowed very well. great word use. an amazing piece of poetry 5/5

    Keep Writing, hun
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

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