Burning Butterfly

The title of this poem intrigued me. It was original and clever might I add. I really drew me into wanting to read this poem.

"Watch as blood runs down my chest
Looking up from the wound to her eyes"

This was very creative, you gave a clear picture. To me this sounds somewhat innocent. as you said "Looking up from the wound to her eyes" To me I picture it as a little girl looking up. Which makes it seem innocent but in a dark manner.

"Suffocating in my own desires
What was everything, now has no sense"

I like your wording here, makes the poem more complex. This was my favorite line so far. I can relate to this, when something can mean so much at one point and you think it would always be that way, then changes so soon and so sudden.

"Their shrieking begs me to walk away
Sweet torture obliging them to wake
Their hearts quiver in chemical violet
Pulsating into a streak of icy blue"

This was a very descriptive stanza. I loved it, I love how you said "Sweet torture." Because how can torture be sweet? It can't, so I like the way you put it. Keeps the readers wanting more.

"Her words haunting every moment
Longing the distant light
Regretting having laid my eyes on her
Silent screams emerge as i begin my descent"

Everyone can pretty much relate to this, If you have gone through a bad break up, you always wish that you could have never met them. that sometime the pain will stop. I liked the way you put this, the way you opened it up to the readers eyes about issues that go on with relationships.

Overall this was a good poem, original. Its a poem that you have to read in between the lines in a way but at the same time its up front about things. That may seem confusing because I'm not exactly sure how to say it but yeah. Great poem 5/5

Wonderful...im speechless!
5/5

First of all, the last two lines in this poem were just...stunning. my favorites, by far.

This was very emotional, and the note at the bottom is also very relatable. If only if only, eh? We write so many poems for others that they never see...and it's a shame, really. but anyway, this poem was lovely and the word choice was beautiful..

Their shrieking beg me to walk away

^^ There's a grammatical error there. It should be "begs" not "beg". Subject/ verb agreement.
*nods*

great job, hon.

Wow !! That was amazing, full of intense and deep feelings. Great writing, and wonderful usage of words.
I liked the ending and your comment at last, yes it is true if only the ones we write to could read them.

Oh wow. there was so much pure emotion in this, its as if every word were a perfect teardrop filled with everything you felt. it was so beautiful.

--TheGothicAlbino