Dying on the Inside

I haven't even had to say goodbye yet, but I know that the end is coming. It hurts. You can't comprehend how much it hurts. It's killed me all weekend, I almost cried. Don't feel bad. That would only make all of this worse. I'm not saying I wish telling you goodbye was easy, well, actually, I guess I am. But you don't know how hard it's been for me. I just want you to hold me and make the world go away. I want to look at my cell phone, and for once wish it wasn't you. I want to be able to hear your name and not have my heart torn out. I want to stop thinking about you, talking about you, dreaming about you, I guess forgetting you would be helpful. But I can't, and that's what hurts the most. I have a broken heart, not being yours killed me a little on the inside. I probably won't see you this summer, that brings the sane side of me some comfort. But the crazy side, the side that for whatever reason makes me adore you, the knowledge of that fact kills my crazy side. Two testing classes left with you, then it's all over. Everything. Can someone bandage my broken heart for me? I can't see through the tears that finally broke through.