Has a good begining, simple words but with emotion. you should proceed n_n
go to the end of the message your trying to give

In so few words, you made this poem extremely powerful. It's awesome. I love it.
Thanks for the comment. =]

Hah, i read this in person, well, you read it to me...
But it was good than and its good now...

"I cant breath"
-Cant change to can't.
-breath change to breathe.

Short, but you get the message across really easily. I would expect more, but good job anyways .. 5/5.

You know i will be your savior ....love it darrling!! 5/5

I LOVE THIS ONE