Comments : Does the mind exist?

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Interesting piece, I like the topic, I've never read a poem like this on the site before. You created good flow from the beginning to the end and you have really nice choice of words within every stanza.

    - Is there anything more awe inspiring?
    Than the random neurons firing
    In the psyche or the human brain
    That metaphysics attempts to explain-
    ^^^
    This is my favorite part of the poem, it is beautifully descriptive and truly powerful. You worded this stanza greatly and the whole rhythm of the words impressed me.

    I don't prefer AABB rhyme scheme in poems and I usually dislike pieces with it but it worked really well here. You have a way with words.

    I like interesting wordplay here:

    - If you don't mind give some thought
    To whether our minds exist or not -
    ^^^
    Really creative ending.

    All in all, this is interesting and refreshing write.

  • 16 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Very good, but I must say a little
    disapointed. I was hoping for more
    emotion within this poem. Didn't seem
    like you gave it your all. Spots seem force
    rhymed. But I did like the message you
    brought through. Unfortunately I will
    only give you a 4/5.
    But I will add you to my favorites becauise
    you are a great poet.
    <3TAy

  • 16 years ago

    by Anthony Duvalle

    I do enjoy how you started it with Suddenly it seems my mind went blank. It instantly hits the reader with emotion and suspense and makes the rest of the write that much better. If I were you though I'd change attempt to explain to cannot explain. I think it helps the meter and flow seem smoother. But its just an idea. My favorite line had to be the "A philosopher has a scheme
    While the poet has but a dream"
    I really think that it gave emotion and a personal insight because of the fact that poets are reading it.
    Excellent 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by East Poetry

    You absolutely know I love this poem. We all have our own unique mind. placed inside of our matter. Our bodies may be the alpha and the omega. As you see your self standing on earth you are alpha. The smallest thing in existence, But perhaps your body and all of its particles makes up a HUGE part of the night sky. Maybe a part you and I cant even see. you Are here and there at the same time. Your Omega. The largest thing of your existence. And so your body is. Yet its all inside of him. There shall be no God Before me. Only after me(or in me) Read my poem Infinite existence.

    I do not necessarily believe the things I say to be true, They are just theory's of mine.