I Love You, Goodbye

After all of this time has passed,
I don't remember what you like.
Even though, it's perfectly clear,
The night of our very first fight.

I forgot what we used to talk about,
When we were on the phone all night.
I have even forgotten what it feels like,
To be in your arms as you hold me tight.

Not really sure what you sound like,
Gotta think hard to remember you face.
Though, I sometimes relive the pain I felt,
When you finally decided to leave this place.

And when I believe the pain has vanished,
It comes back in just a matter of time.
Making me remember the good 'ol days,
Back when I was able to call you mine.

At times I find myself crying over you,
But it's easier to get through the day.
Still can't believe you left me all alone,
With everything you had forgot to say.

Deep down, I know it wasn't meant to be,
But that's all buried inside of my heart.
Secretly, I'm still not over you,
And baby, it's slowly tearing me apart.

I still wonder if it was all just one big lie,
Especially since your last words were,"I love you."
Even when seven horrible months have passed,
I can't help but wish your words were really true.

Baby, why did you give it all up?
I thought what we had was wonderful.
I guess you're better at pretending that I am,
Because, in the end, I came out as the fool.

I hate how I sit here and cry over you,
And you never once shed a tear for me.
What happened to all that we used to have,
Every single thing that we could now be?

Yes, I am with somebody else,
But I don't want you with another girl.
I can't stand knowing you've moved on,
That I've truly lost what was my world.

But, I honestly want you to be happy,
And I'll keep pretending like I'm okay.
I'll lock away all of these unwanted feelings,
Not speak what I truly want to say.

I'll try to ignore what it is my heart really wants,
Since I was the best thing that could happen to you.
And even you have to admit, that's not a lie,
That every single thing I've said is very true.

So, I'll finally put down this tired pen,
While your head is on a pillow as you lie.
And though it kills me to say all of this,
Baby, I still love you, but... goodbye.

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This is a story about a girl who can't let go of the past. She was up all night writing this poem as the rest of the world was asleep. Including the guy she was writing about and crying over. I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading.

6/5/08

~Kayla~