Oh, if only...

Oh, if only I'd never given my heart away so quick,
Leaving me feeling so miserable and so weak.
Continuously brooding over the past long gone,
Clutching hopelessly onto strings to detach this shameful battle won.

Oh, if only I could turn back time,
And walk away before you declared what's rightfully mine.
But though endlessly seeking some peace,
Nothing be found - not even relief.

Oh, if only I had walked away that very first time,
When you broke my heart into pieces so fine.
I was insane, confused and hopelessly alone,
With the devil I'd always place my soul on loan.

To be borrowed and relentlessly bruised,
Why did I allow myself to be used?
I only wanted to show you true love,
But that was all shot down - a heart soon to starve.

Broken pieces are so hard to fix,
And these memories but cling onto me like a leech.
There is not a moment where in to live in peace,
For they draw all that passed - to be relived once again with subtle ease.

To think that every word ever written down,
Reliving every memory within my mind that could be found.
And that too - only for you.
Hell, I couldn't have been more of a fool.

If only there remained answers to immortal painful love,
Where a heart was broken in half,
Then the path to this torture would not be followed.
And in hopes of something good to glimpse - we'd live for tomorrow.

Yet alas, these questions remain in silent isolation,
Not any meaningful answer given to such a relation.
If time would just bury this heart within a grave,
Or lock it away so to this pain we bade a final wave.

Time they say heals all wounds,
But these times continually play old tunes,
Of what was broken, bruised but never fixed,
Of how pleasure and pain could be mixed,
To produce such a deadly combination,
Far from such an incessant accusation.