The stranger (this is my first poem!)

by emma   Jun 6, 2008


While God was sleeping
The night was free
To poison a mind
Pointed black
Shining leather shoes
Paced the street
A bluish light
The stars watched
A stranger walking
The streets he knew
Sharp turns
No hesitation
The shoes creak
And do not slip
On the cobbles
The stranger
Strange to who?
Because nobody
Watched him
And if they did
They might even
Know him
He's flat
Against the wall
Of a pub
Last orders were
A long time ago
He watches
And waits
She will come
He'll see her face
Dark eyes
White face
Bitten lips
She'll glide through
The fog
That rolls in
Like an angel
His angel
All his
He'll creep
Behind her
And shock her
Then she will be
Really his to keep
He's jealous
Of her skin
For holding her
Because he cannot
And her eyes
He wants to see
How she sees the world
Such innocence
So trusting
She will learn
Right
Now.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Spirit

    WOW
    that poem gave me goosebumps
    I could actually feel the arragant plesure
    of the attacker. For your very first poem
    you should be proud not many can preduce
    such imagery on their first piece. (I for
    instance was horrible my fist time) However
    you need a slight bit of work on the flow
    of your peice (then again I could of read
    it wrong) good luck in the future and let
    your poems inspire you.

    :~)Sam(~:

  • 16 years ago

    by Imogen

    A really good first poem, it really grips you and it's very fast paced.

    However, i agree with 'singing in the rain', in places it was a bit hard to read.. maybe putting some puncuation would help?

    Imi x

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I think to me, it was a bit hard to read. Maybe put punctuation marks, or have your poem be in separte stanzas, so it isn't just like a few words in each line, but more than that. It will just make it more enjoyable to read, but I did like this poem.

  • 16 years ago

    by TormentedSoul

    It was really good :) and thanks for commenting on mine :) 5/5

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