First off, the connection between beginning and the ending lines is really effective. Still, maybe you need more powerful closure then "But this time, it seemed to have worked.". That line is good but, in my opinion, this piece needs more compact and emotional ending which will sum up the whole piece differently.
Other than that, this is truly an enjoyable read. I though that it would be too long when I started reading it but I wanted more when I got to the ending. You managed to pull me deeply into the story from the ""I'll sing you a lullaby" part. I like personifications that you used through the piece- city, city lights, building, stars- it seems like they all have their personalities and their stories.
I have one more suggestion: In the paragraph which begins with "And you stutter these words knowing that they make...", you repeated "these words" twice and that left bad impression on me because it seemed unnecessary. Maybe you can replace one of "these words".
I love this part:
- "Sing it aloud for us, princess, show us your heart," the city lights whisper.-
^^^
This is haunting in a way, truly powerful.

I wanted to highlight some more parts that I liked but there are too many of them. Overall, this is greatly written piece. Some paragraphs are amazingly vivid and I could clearly imagine every sentences of them and some are extremely emotional and heartfelt. I think that you made good balance when it comes to that.

Keep up!

Sad truely and utterly sad.
*tear*
but really great job it is really beautiful.

a few camments
when you get to the longer bit it feels as though you are stuck (i found myself reading the same line over)
I liked the fact that it was broken up into 4 parts and how the first and forth were similar.
Also i liked that it didn't rhyme (i like free verse but can't write it my self)
it was a little long but then again i have a short attention span.
over all for me
5/5

Part I

Told like a story... The first part is so cold, a bit like the little snatches of advice or wisdom that we hear but never put to good use. Or the stuff they say at the begining of a TV show episode that gives absolutely no clue about what's to come for the next half-hour...

"Especially when you're drowning."
Well, it's too obvious to be called foreshadowing, and the effect it gives is much less subtle (not in a bad way, mind...). More of a warning, I'd say. Like saying, "Danger", or "Proceed with caution".

Part II

The first sentence immediately thrusts you into the atmosphere, the mood of this piece. One thing that I didn't quite get was the "One more dollar" part, but I don't suppose it matters much.

The first half of Part II made me think of loneliness and mist and forlorn-ness. It's as if she isn't really alive anymore, she's only living to live, without a reason or a goal or a purpose. She just keeps going on like one would in a dream... As if none of this fantasy -- or nightmare -- is real.

"That maybe he was against you too."
Now that's foreshadowing. On the line above it, I suggest you put a dash at the end. Those are more abrupt, it really shows that the train of thought is suddenly servered by another thought.

"and with the most melodic voice you can produce, you wail,"
Please change "wail". Maybe it's just me, but I wince everytime I see that verb. It's just so... urgh.

Part III

The beginning is too "slang-ish".

" it won't happen, love, and nothing's going to save you this time."
This sounds like something out of an old movie.
"But be careful who you mock, buildings, because this lady's ready to fall."
And this sounds like something out of a Western song.

It's ruining the mood a little. In situations like these, I'd try to mingle her emotions and her surroundings together. Like, I dunno, 'The bitter January wind swept away her doubts and her thoughts.'

"your cardigan sweater"
Cardigan doesn't really belong there. It goes against the flow of your words. It's too harsh for the mood.

Everything beneath that is flawless. It all sounds very natural, and above all, tragic. This is the purest part of the whole piece, because there is only emotion, nothing more. No adjectives or adverbs to clutter up the sentences, no odd words in the middle of nowhere... It's the peak, the summet of your feelings. I'd bet my computer that this is when you truly felt the emotion running through your veins.

"Maybe, maybe next time, you'll not listen to your heart."
Very much like the last, tiny thought before everything gives away, the last shred of a smile, of regret, of memory...

Part IV

It seems like a weak ending... I'd just delete this part altogether, but hey, you're the writer.

Amazing, amazingly done. It's one of those stories that makes your heart cry and your eyes look far far away, leaving them unfocused for the next few hours or so. It'll haunt me for a long time.

Well, this being the first thing that i have read in months that wasn't child's play.. was a breath of fresh air. and actually spoke to me to write. i would give you my interpretation of your poem with a poem if i could, but i wouldn't want you to stray from your original idea. one thing of negative: the part about stuttering uttering words to yourself. i wont go into it, it just wasn't my style
i must say, a wonder-full write. i say this because i tend to read between the lines of most of the things i read.
the write as a whole left impact but i have to say that: "And you scream, before you wish just as dreamers do, "i have the guts, but not the heart." And step off the ledge." this stayed in my head the whole time i read the end and the whole again. absolutely great word choice here.

great work,
Tom

(you have a PM)

"They always told me when you get in quite a large predicament and you can't get out to take a deep breath to calm yourself."
-Right off the bat, I was questioning myself. Who? You say "They always told me....." but.. Who are they? Maybe you say who it is later in the poem. Clarify that maybe? The readers may be confused. Maybe it's just me. I'm not sure.

""I'll sing you a lullaby

If you promise not to cry." the city beckoned you away from your corner of safety and smiled as you inched closer to its breast."
-Interesting so far. But, your line here broke up into two? Unless that's just your format. I'm not sure. You had "I'll sing you a lullaby.. and then there was a space and then you said the rest.

Overall, a really great poem. Interesting title. I thought that was a really neat title and it intrigued me to read the poem. Ummmm, what else can I tell you? I really liked the format.. However, I think this poem was too long. I prefer shorter poems.. but I can't tell you to change the length because that's how you want it. So, disregard what I even said. lol. Anyway, the format was pretty unique. I have to give ya that. :) I've never seen a poem written like this before. It was interesting. :] 5/5

:( be happy you have a ton of emotion into your stuff so kudos to you but now I wanna go die lol