Numbness controls

by Finalgravedigger   Jun 7, 2008


No where near passionate life or the fateful dead
Not able to feel any bliss or a trace of dread
Expressionless and blank can only describe the face
For this horrid state is beyond any mortal disgrace..

In this phase an ounce of pain cannot exist
The mind and soul is smothered in mist
Eyes cannot see but there is no fear
For emotions are incapable of drawing near.

This stage should be forbidden in the human soul
For not even one can yearn for control
Tears of sadness would be a blessing
Luck would be considered as flesh rotting.

Nothing can undo or reach this unbelievable disaster
To be forever stuck in numbness as the master
Commanded to do nothing and not live in any way
Trapped and enslaved with no options to disobey.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Deana

    This is an excellent write, I think I have felt this numbness at times and you are so right it is far worse than any emotional response to pain! very well done!

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    The feeling of being numb is an odd one, but many people go through it when they've been hurt too much, it's like they numb themselves to the pain. I've been through phases of being numb, but nothing to intense.

    I thought some of the rhymes sounded a litte forced and the flow was a little rocky, but nothing too drastic. I think the flow could be helped if you added some punctuation though. Just to help the reader know when to pause.

    I think you captured the feeling of being numb pretty well though. I could definitely feel it as I read through, remembering those moments when I was numb myself.

    No one really writes about being numb. Most write about very strong emotions, so I think this was unique. :]

    No where near passionate life or the fateful dead
    `` "No where" should be "Nowhere". :]

    Commanded to do nothing and not live in any way
    `` "any way" should be "anyway".

    Overall, I liked it. x]

    Keep writing!

    .||CAYYCE||.

  • 16 years ago

    by Empathy

    Nice piece. Great imagery, and word choice. I like how you really come to the description on how numbness can actually be. I think it was a great perspective, and was quite thought provoking. Very nice work.

  • 16 years ago

    by silent turbulence

    Reflects the emotions a lot of us have to go through almost everyday! awesome!

  • 16 years ago

    by msluckyone

    Very dark but nicely done

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