No matter how hard i tried....

by Skylar   Jun 7, 2008


I tried so hard to make you smile
if only you would stay a while
i tried to move on and just forgete
but you didnt want to let go yet

You kept me here and played your game
telling everyone and calling me names
i tried to be with yo everyday
i just didnt know what to say

you broke the heart i gave to you
after everything ive been trough
i asked and begged you please just stay
things never seemed to g my way

you never loved me
as far as i could see
no matter what you put me trough
you just wouldnt love me too

i gave you everything i could
hopeing you would
but you broke me down
and gave me a frown

left me in pain
and gave me shame
why you left me here
all alone in fear.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by S R P

    Very good poem, though I would suggest a few things:

    "didn't" should have an apostraphe in several places.

    "forget" on the third line of the first stanza has a typo at the end.

    "go" on the fourth line of the third stanza is typo'd as well

    "through" is spelled wrong on the third line of the fourth stanza

    "hoping" is spelled wrong on the second line of the fifth stanza.

    I'd also try to use captial letters at the beginning of every line. Ultimately, it's just about structure - it makes the poem LOOK better, nothing about the read. I've heard it's a preference rather than a big deal, though.

    Overall, aside from those few mistakes, it was a great poem. When you use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation, the poem seems to flow better overall. A great poem, nonetheless!

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Your poem made me emo, i know the situation all to well. nice poem maybe u can read one of mine.

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