Why does it hurt so much to be me? Why do I feel so lonely?? Why am I scared all the time???
I am drowning in my own depression. this sorrow, this black cloud that won't leave my being.
I am sinking in this pit of despair that spawned beneath me before I had the chance to leap out of the way.
These feelings are like sand closing in around me and making it harder and harder to breathe.
There feels like only one release to this self inflicted suffering.
The feeling of the blade against my skin
The gradual and steady pressure that I put on the knife feels like salvation.
With every cut I feel the clouds clearing, I see blue sky.
With every drop of blood that falls on the floor brings me inches closer to climbing out of the pit.
I sit in a puddle of my own blood and smile.
I'm free.
Free of feeling, of caring, of being me.
