My temper is you,
My patience is you,
My playfulness is you,
My stubbornness is you,
My mind set is you,
My games are you,
You are the one that checked for monsters,
You are the one that taught me to ride a bike,
You are the one that bought me a new Barbie every week.
You are the one that assembled my doll houses,
You are the one that video taped me on Christmas,
You are the one that dealt with head butts and punches.
You are songs in my playlist,
You are that voice thats in my head,
You are the reason I stay grounded.
I am that blond little girl that wore tie dye shirts,
I am that little girl with the high pitched voice,
And I am the one that loved pink and bows anything girl.
I am the one that used to call you daddy,
I am the one that smiled for the camera.
And I am the one that had birthdays at Caesar land..
I am the one that slept on your chest,
I am the one that used to bring you so much joy,
And I am the one that would run in your arms when you got home from work.
I am the one that you would take on bike rides,
I am the one that had to have a virgin Shirley temple when we went out to dinner.
I am the one that brought light to your life.
These are things that make me stay, When all I want to do is leave. Once I hit a certain age it all changed for us, I think that it was cause I was growing up and you just weren't ready for it,But believe it or not I do remember when times were different. I don't think you quite understand how much I hold onto every single word you say. And how much it hurts that no matter what I do or where I go in life in one way or another It will never be enough for you, Although neither of us say it we both know it's true. I like to think that you do think I am an amazing person and that in some way you are proud of me you just don't like to voice it. I do understand that it is hard to let go of me and you still want me to be that little girl. I wish I still was at times. Reality is setting in and I'm going to be faced with the real world. And even though you will always think of me as that little girl, I'm not anymore and even though you think I needed to be taken by the hand when it comes to alot of things, But I don't and I'm going to be just fine when I'm gone. And I wish you could have the confidence in me to trust that. I wish that I was able to make decisions on my own, without you getting mad and telling me no. I wish that I could say these things without having the fear that you will tell me to leave. It's sad that I have that fear, and it's sad that I can't talk to you. It's sad that I know you won't listen. It's sad that I'm begining to resent you for it.Because if my life's not the way you think it should be, It's just wrong. But you need to understand that it's my decision! You need to understand that I am grown and I dont even know if I can make the summer under your dictatorship. I'm trying , I really I am. In one way I don't want to leave but in another I feel like your pushing me. When I leave I don't want it to be on bad terms, But I think that if you can't let me make this decision on my own I will have no other choice. Because I am to my absolute wit's end. And I can't take it anymore.
