I love you yeah it's true

by Mallory   Jun 9, 2008


There is something I need to say
unfortunately today.
It is I love you,
yeah its true.
It's the way you smile
longer than the Nile.
It's the way you talk to me
and your eyes shine like the sea.
You are different than any guy i know.
Please don't say no.
To what I said to you
remember who you are talking to.
I love you
yeah it's true.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    Cute... i love the way you worded this piece very to the point... you put a very complex feeling into somewhat simple words... if only it was that easy... anyways very good... 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Maddy

    I like it. I've felt the same way tons of times before so I know what you mean. It's honest which makes it beautiful.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Yeah now that's what I'm talking about straight from the heart

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "There is something I need to say
    unfortunately today."
    -I don't think this is worded right. I know you're trying to make it rhyme. Again, too forced for me. Maybe you could make it a poem that doesn't rhyme. I hope you realize that not all poems have to rhyme. I think it'd sound good like this,
    "Unfortunetly,
    There is something I need to say today."
    There, you still have your rhyming. :)

    "You are different than any guy i know.
    Please don't say no."
    -Capitolize your i's. :)
    Reword these lines.. You use the same word techincally to rhyme. Know and no, it's the same word almost just defined differently.

    "To what I said to you
    remember who you are talking to."
    -Gah, what? To what I said to you? Rephrase this. Are you talking about he said "I love you" or something? Way confusing. I'm sorry. Maybe it's just me?

    Overall, I like the whole message. But again, the rhyming doesn't have to be there. A poem can flow nicely without rhyming. I think you could make this poem better. Use more descriptive words! Drop the rhyming, try something new :) Improve this and get back to me when you've edited. :] 3/5