Comments : I love you yeah it's true

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "There is something I need to say
    unfortunately today."
    -I don't think this is worded right. I know you're trying to make it rhyme. Again, too forced for me. Maybe you could make it a poem that doesn't rhyme. I hope you realize that not all poems have to rhyme. I think it'd sound good like this,
    "Unfortunetly,
    There is something I need to say today."
    There, you still have your rhyming. :)

    "You are different than any guy i know.
    Please don't say no."
    -Capitolize your i's. :)
    Reword these lines.. You use the same word techincally to rhyme. Know and no, it's the same word almost just defined differently.

    "To what I said to you
    remember who you are talking to."
    -Gah, what? To what I said to you? Rephrase this. Are you talking about he said "I love you" or something? Way confusing. I'm sorry. Maybe it's just me?

    Overall, I like the whole message. But again, the rhyming doesn't have to be there. A poem can flow nicely without rhyming. I think you could make this poem better. Use more descriptive words! Drop the rhyming, try something new :) Improve this and get back to me when you've edited. :] 3/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Yeah now that's what I'm talking about straight from the heart

  • 16 years ago

    by Maddy

    I like it. I've felt the same way tons of times before so I know what you mean. It's honest which makes it beautiful.

  • 16 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    Cute... i love the way you worded this piece very to the point... you put a very complex feeling into somewhat simple words... if only it was that easy... anyways very good... 5/5