Alone and cold
She sits and stares
Hands trembling
Body bare

*The imagery here is great. It's a wonderful way to start a poem. Makes me want to keep reading.*

Watching the clock
Tick away with despair
Try to stop the bleeding
She doesn't dare

*I liked this part alot. One thing I would change is the last line. "she woulnd't dare" seems to flow better to me. Other than that I like that the rhyme is constant.*

At last she cries out
She becomes so scared
She just wishes
Someone had cared

*Aww this part is very sad. You are so well with expressing your emotions. Nice*

She feels it pushing down
Until there's no air
Feels it drain out
Until she's unaware

*What a powerful ending. I really loved this poem. The flow was flawless. This was a really heartbreaking story. Keep it up hun. I love the title as well. Nik*