I need you to love me </3

by chelsey   Jun 10, 2008


Every time we hug,
I feel the spark,
& Every time we talk,
I lose concentration.

I'm just your friend,
& Your just my everything,
Your the one I'll love forever,
The one I would be with even longer.

You still don't realize I love you,
But I realize you'll never love me,
Your never gonna want me,
But I'm always gonna want you.

Your my star,
Your my sky,
Your my heart,
Let me say that your my guy.

All I think about,
When I'm think about u is...
I've went all this time without you loving me back,
So do I really need you that bad??....

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Josh

    Oh, and in the last line "bad" should be written "badly" and in the use of "your" in this piece is wrong as weel it should be "you're" as in you are. One last thing, in the last stanza I am not sure the second line makes sense. My advice, go throughout your poems and read them slowly looking for mistakes and when checking for spelling, read backwards.

  • 16 years ago

    by Josh

    Well this is actually very well written. Although good, this could be great. My suggestions are: In the third stanza last line you say "but I'm always gonna want you" I believe that switching "want" with "need" would fill it with more passion but with that same line you; in a way, contradict your writing. My explanation is you say "but I'm always gonna want you" and then in the last line of this piece you say "do I really need you"... my thought is to change that so there is no contradictions. But I can see light through this; after looking deeper at this than before maybe you are always going to want him but you are never going to need him... get back to me on this because I would love to know what you think.

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