Whether wisdom or foolishness, I can't deny my desire to alter the past,
Control the present and look forward to a bright future. I know "what if's" are horrible and wrong,
And wishing for an alternate reality is impossible.
But I don't know what to do because I can't help wanting that.
I sit there and try to fathom the consequences of my choices; a painful process.
Thoughts drowning out common sense, reason fading away,
Even emotion is too overwhelming.
I just want to wake up and have this whole world be a dream.
I want to wake up and return to the sweet life of a six year old with play-dates and lollies.
With skinned knees and hopeful futures.
Hearts big and vulnerable and untainted.
Sometimes I wish all the shit that has happened would be a lie,
Or just a terrible nightmare
