Our story starts in a Northern Colorado town
In a tiny mall that takes less than an hour to walk around
To a department store called Macy's off do we go
Wanetta the dock manager, that's who we know
Always a bundle of happiness and joy
You'd almost think that she was a boy
A character so hard to define
So I'll tell you, she's known as Captain Sunshine
So what better way to tell you
Of a lady tried and true
Then tell you of one her many deeds
Of a time she had to intercede
Big bad mother trucker came rollin into town
He was blowin off steam and honkin his horn out loud
And oh did those sales folk begin to quiver and to quake
Sure enough some of them did defecate.
And hearing the wail of terror and fear
Captain Sunshine got up and put aside her beer
She set off to meet this trucker in hand to hand
Her theme song getting played by the band
The two of them met with a mighty clash
In hand to hand that seemed rather rash
But Captain Sunshine felled the trucker with a swing
To his knees with a bloody nose did she bring
The sales folk let out a roaring cheer
Now that they were safe from that truck driver fear
And Captain Sunshine let that beaten trucker go
Only after telling him he wasn't the boss no mo'
