The Vampire You Fear

"Hiding from the day;
roaming in the night.
Hunting down my prey;
longing for the bite"
-To stay with your puncuation you may want to add a period after bite. :) Just a suggestion.

"Moonlight brings out skin so pale
as does it show my white fangs.
As they die I prevail."
-Heres another suggestion. If I were you I'd put.. "As they die, I prevail." -Just my thought. :)

"My food: their blood. A coffin: my bed."
-Oh, Nice! I absolutely love how you worded this. I love the varitey of puncuation in this piece. :) Nice work, Jen.

" I read your thoughts and know your emotions.
I KNOW everything about you."
-The one thing I love here if you capitolized KNOW. You want to make sure that the reader understands something.

"All you know of me are silly notions.
It is known how much you want me too."
-I love how you say above that you KNOW everything about this person. Then you go on and say they know nearly nothing about you. I love that. It was unique. :]

"Someone will parish in my arms tonight.
I'm the vampire you fear."
-Excellent way to end the poem. I was waiting to hear the title in the piece somewhere. :) And tada.. There it is! Yay. :]

"*Pangs: A sharp, intense pain."
-Wow, thank you dear for clarifiying. :] I wondered what that word meant. This is a excellent thought. Some people don't understand every word. :] I love this idea!!

-Overall, excellent poem as always. :) I could go on for a day about how much I love your poems. Number one fan! XD Let me know when you've got new shtuff up. I'd love to take a look at it! 5/5 as always.. Duh!