Harder To Breath

by David ODonnell   Jun 13, 2008


Before you came into my life
I found it easy to use the knife
To have the courage to stand alone
To be so depressed and nothing shown

As you striped my layers down
The tears and truth that made you thrown
You saw my core and hollow shell
The life I lived, a personal hell

With years of work and time you gave
You set out strong to love and save
To cure the poison inside of me
And fight my demons to set me free

But it got hard and too much for you
While our love grew the pain did to
You chose to quit while you were ahead
And now its over the love is dead

I learnt to walk and run with you
And all the pain you helped me through
Has found its placed back in my heart
And now im here back at the start

Even though you made me strong
I ruined everything and made it wrong
Took love for granted and held my breath
Now all I do is pray for death

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  • 16 years ago

    by Paralyzed

    It got hard, too much for you
    While love was growing, pain did too
    You chose to quit while you were ahead
    Now its over, love is dead

    I learned to walk and run with you
    So much pain you helped me through
    It's found its place, back in my heart
    As I'm thrown back to the start

    Even though you made me strong
    I ruined it all, choices wrong
    Took you for granted, holding my breath
    Spending my days waiting for death

    Though I am still not happy with the last stanza, I attempted to rewrite some of what you have lol I think it is a good start, you just need to work on your rhyme and flow and find a rhythm. keep your syllables close together, usually only a variance of one or two. Keep working at it, you had some good stuff here.

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