Denial.

by forevertobeart   Jun 14, 2008


[Edited with thanks to commenters.]

Petite?
fragile.
it's been a while.
since she felt this strong.
she wonders how long?
until it will waver.
she's learned to taste the flavor
of the smoke that escapes
her lips, in the shapes
of candy like clouds
telling her to prepare the shrouds.

why bother with something new,
when this disguise will do?

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Cristian Teo Regalado

    Yupp yupp this is very good 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by ghosts in bloom

    Ooh, I enjoy this. short, and nonpareil in my opinion. [: packs a punch. wonderfully penned, Chyna. however the punctuation on the last couplet read a little odd for me. The whole thing sounds like a question to me, rather than just the first line. What about:

    "why bother with something new,
    when this disguise will do?"

    =J
    Keep it coming!

  • 16 years ago

    by Rinji

    I like it, but it seems like you can put more feeling into give it more of a zing that makes me feel the true feelings behinde it. I would say try thinking really deep in to experinces or even using some new words can help convey the feelings more. but besides that good job XD

  • 16 years ago

    by XxxBeenThereRockedThatxxX

    Mysterious...I can tell...but very vague....I understand it tho and thats good...great write for a first!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I like it a lot. The style is very orginal. Very deep thoughts delivered in a poetic self image
    well done

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