by forevertobeart Jun 14, 2008
category :
Sadness, depression /
about depression
[Edited with thanks to commenters.] |
Yupp yupp this is very good 5/5 |
Ooh, I enjoy this. short, and nonpareil in my opinion. [: packs a punch. wonderfully penned, Chyna. however the punctuation on the last couplet read a little odd for me. The whole thing sounds like a question to me, rather than just the first line. What about: |
by Rinji
I like it, but it seems like you can put more feeling into give it more of a zing that makes me feel the true feelings behinde it. I would say try thinking really deep in to experinces or even using some new words can help convey the feelings more. but besides that good job XD |
Mysterious...I can tell...but very vague....I understand it tho and thats good...great write for a first!!! |
I like it a lot. The style is very orginal. Very deep thoughts delivered in a poetic self image |