The Darkfields.

by forevertobeart   Jun 16, 2008


[Edited with thanks to commenters.]

I see the blinding light
I feel the blood rush through my veins
I feel the cold in the air
I smell the fear coming from me
I think of the past
I taste the bite in the air
I hear the voice in my head
I hear myself scream
I feel myself fall
but I don't feel it
when I hit the ground..

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Cristian Teo Regalado

    Spmetimes i feel like this...5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This was really good. It was short, but you explained what you needed to get across, which is always good. Of course. I would capitolize your I's at the beginning of every stanza though, beacuse then it's neater. This poem flowed really nicely, but you could also add some more and use some more descriptive words maybe? I know it's hard, but challenge yourself. XD 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Short...and good write...
    In these few words u captured so much sadness...

    just one suggestion... make the starting of each line capital...

    I loved the title..

    keep writing...

  • 16 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Nice description, I wanna pass out

  • 16 years ago

    by Empathy

    There would not be any need to make this poem longer, because the theme comes across directly at the end quite well. I could easily pick up on the imagery in this poem also which I thought was great. Very nice!

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