Forsaken

by LitxUpxWithxLife   Jun 17, 2008


A tingling sensation rolls off my spine.
Knowing that you no longer will be mine.
Anger and guilt surround me like a cloud.
As i put on my final burial shroud.

"Welcome to the abandoned land.
Come on in child take my hand.
Hell is not hot as you can see.
It's much colder than cold could ever be.
Feel the cold seeping into your bones?
Just know that we will never leave you alone."

His cracking voice binds my severed soul to this place.
Believe me you'll know the devil when you look in his face.
He'll snicker at your pathetic attempts of retribution.
Because he knows it's too late for that solution.
Now you know there is no restitution
and then you'll realize you're in perfect seclusion.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A very deep write... chilling too! A good descriptive piece that just captivates/chills the reader!!

    Very well done!

    Olwin.
    ,

  • 16 years ago

    by adroit

    Deep, dark, sad poem. No. Not sad. Kind of angry. Nice job. Great flow. Honest luck.

    Sarah

  • 16 years ago

    by Sora

    I love the way you write yer poems, very expressive and great details! keep it all up! =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I sense an subliminal emotion to this well written poem saying eloquently after all is said and done you are going to be the lonely one. The poem seems two have two levels personifying solitude. It reflects the kind of depth I really enjoy reading

    Well done 5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Nice job:)
    The rhyming was good. I loved how you used more expressive words rather then mad and sad. I liked the feeling of you describing it as cold rather then hot which we all think about when we think of hell. nice job indeed!
    5/5

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