The Break Up

by liti   Jun 17, 2008


Where should i start, wat should i say, i cant believe we parted yesterday. my love for you is so strong, its been one day but it feels like so long. tears in my eyes, dont, i cant hold, lump in my throte and it feels so cold. i love you with all of my heart and always will, problems were goin through but i love you still. thinkin of you while i write, hopin i get a phone call from you tonight. love aint no game and is never unsure, my love for you has always been pure and my heart is broken and your the only cure. why cant you understand that i need you now, a life witout you, i jus dont know how. people say your my first love and someone from the past. i say your my first and will always be my last. i will wait for you until were together, cuz my love for you will be always and forever. fairwell for now, my love until next time, and hopefully your heart is mended by this rhyme.

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  • I love the rhyming in your poem. the emotion is so there, but the only thing that you should work on is structure and spelling. you're very good at writting poetry, you just need to look a little more careful on your spelling even if you don't have structure.
    like i said your a really great writter, and your poem floats nicely!
    Keep writting!!

    **Ada**
    *aBSwaBHiaPL*

  • 16 years ago

    by P00ki3B3ar

    5/5 i love this it rhymes perfect and it just flows flawlessly! good job keep on writing!

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